either or

customer: it was either buy food or razor blades. Food won.

me: food should always win.

not so bright lights

*customer with a biker look, complete with leather fanny pack comes over to my till looking confused...*


customer: you on?

me: uh... i'm open

customer: oh, cuz your light isn't on

me: well the sign doesn't light up... cuz it's made out of wood... so...

oil v.s. aspartaeme

customer comes up to my till and drinks olive oil straight out of the bottle.
then proceeds to tell me how diet coke is bad. shock.

what party

so i overcharged a woman by ringing in items she had already bought.
Before she came back to complain a new customer comes by...

new customer: you should get a raise. you're beautiful with brains. you should join a beauty contest. You have great hair, not like those women that dye it and have sick hair. you know what I mean? you're natural and beautiful....

*old angry customer comes back and waits impatiently to get her money back*

new customer: really you deserve a raise every day!

me: i don't think this woman agrees with you....




drunk customer: hey gorgeous. can i have your number so i can take you out to dinner?

me: maybe if you come back sober

drunk customer: hahaha... you got me. no but seriously, give me your number, there's a party.

me: what party?

drunk customer: well... there COULD be a party....

old souls

*two young kids come up and buy stuff. I give them their change and they say keep it, so I say...*

me: aww come on, you can get some 5 cent candies with that change, take it.

little boy: not with taxes these days

me: you're too young to worry about taxes

little girl: we're older than you think

me: lemme guess... 12?

little boy: i'm almost 13!

razor

customer: hi, i need help with a razor

me: you need help with a razor

customer: yeah

me: so... you want help shaving your face?

Really? Like... really?

last night's shift was so ridiculous a short dialogue format is just not going to cut it. these "people" deserve more.

First Customer:

He is a older English fellow, very well groomed, looking a little unsatisfied with the previous help he's been offered. I ask him what I can do to help.

customer: well, these employees won't let me buy these pants. I am not impressed with the service. I put these pants on, I would just like to pay for them and leave, I've never had a problem before.


turns out this idiot is wearing a pair of jeans with a fucking plastic security tag on the ass and refuses to take off the pants. And then wouldn't understand why I couldn't sell them to him .


me: If I sell them to you without you taking them off first, you are going to beep in every store in the the city.

customer: why will you refuse to let me purchase these? You are refusing me.



scenario number 2

A normal enough looking middle aged pot bellied dude walks up to me with a plastic liquor store bag filled with what seems to be, well, liquor.

customer: excuse me, the girl downstairs (what girl downstairs?) said i could drink one of my beers while i shop around

me: are you sure she worked here?

customer: uh yeah. she had the same outfit you had on

me: really? well you can't drink beer in the store. obviously.

customer: but the girl downstairs said i could

me: well laws say you can't

customer: hey i just asked her and she said it was ok

me: well then you shouldn't of asked ME. Its NOT ok.