customer: I though smoking a shit load of pot would take away the pain, I was wrong.
me: Try Tylenol 3's
customer: Oh, I don't do drugs.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
and when i'm NOT working...
at a crowded pizza joint:
me: is this hot sauce?
creep: yeah, almost as hot as you
me: good one....
at the bar: dude wearing a hilarious shirt explains himself:
"when I'm wearing my "I HAVE A VAGINA" shirt I know it's time to do laundry.
me: is this hot sauce?
creep: yeah, almost as hot as you
me: good one....
at the bar: dude wearing a hilarious shirt explains himself:
"when I'm wearing my "I HAVE A VAGINA" shirt I know it's time to do laundry.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
laundrophilia
me: I should pimp out my washer and dryer in my apartment and make some money
customer: I'll be at your apartment, Megan. Don't mind me if I don't bring any laundry.
customer: I'll be at your apartment, Megan. Don't mind me if I don't bring any laundry.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
kids
customer: my kids love Kraft Dinner
me (not looking up): oh, yeah?
customer: yeah, hey babies!
me (looks up)
customer (has rats crawling out of her shirt)
me: Oh. K... your babies. Like Kraft Dinner.
me (not looking up): oh, yeah?
customer: yeah, hey babies!
me (looks up)
customer (has rats crawling out of her shirt)
me: Oh. K... your babies. Like Kraft Dinner.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
proof
customer:Now I'm no brain science... ok I proved it right there. I'm no brain surgeon, but....
Sunday, February 6, 2011
multi-purpose
me: what are you going to put this (whipped cream) on?
customer: strawberry pie
me: mmm
customer: and my girlfriend
co-worker: what are you reading?
me: It's a book about the lives of maids living in Mississippi during the 50's. It's fitting for Black History Month
co-worker: Oh is that TODAY??
me: It's all month, actually.
customer: strawberry pie
me: mmm
customer: and my girlfriend
co-worker: what are you reading?
me: It's a book about the lives of maids living in Mississippi during the 50's. It's fitting for Black History Month
co-worker: Oh is that TODAY??
me: It's all month, actually.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Black History Month
young black customer: because it's black history month, you just bag my groceries and I get to walk away right?
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
what's my job?
stupid stoned kid: can you bag this stuff?
me: I will, i can only do one thing at a time
kid: no no, i was talking to my friend. HE should do it.
STUPIDER stoned kid: it's your job, you should bag the stuff, haha.
me: ok, so do you want this juice still?
kid: fuck the juice
me: ok that's NOT my job.
me: I will, i can only do one thing at a time
kid: no no, i was talking to my friend. HE should do it.
STUPIDER stoned kid: it's your job, you should bag the stuff, haha.
me: ok, so do you want this juice still?
kid: fuck the juice
me: ok that's NOT my job.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
yours and mine.
An older gentlemen reminiscent of a dirty Jeff Bridges comes up to the till with a few items. I'm scanning them as I come across a DVD. As I look for the barcode i notice the 6 pairs of tits on the cover. This DVD is a porno.
me: that's not one of ours
him: no, it sure isn't
me: well enjoy your movie!
him: you want to watch it with me?
me: no, thanks. I can't....
him: I had to ask.
me: that's not one of ours
him: no, it sure isn't
me: well enjoy your movie!
him: you want to watch it with me?
me: no, thanks. I can't....
him: I had to ask.
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