either or

customer: it was either buy food or razor blades. Food won.

me: food should always win.

not so bright lights

*customer with a biker look, complete with leather fanny pack comes over to my till looking confused...*


customer: you on?

me: uh... i'm open

customer: oh, cuz your light isn't on

me: well the sign doesn't light up... cuz it's made out of wood... so...

oil v.s. aspartaeme

customer comes up to my till and drinks olive oil straight out of the bottle.
then proceeds to tell me how diet coke is bad. shock.

what party

so i overcharged a woman by ringing in items she had already bought.
Before she came back to complain a new customer comes by...

new customer: you should get a raise. you're beautiful with brains. you should join a beauty contest. You have great hair, not like those women that dye it and have sick hair. you know what I mean? you're natural and beautiful....

*old angry customer comes back and waits impatiently to get her money back*

new customer: really you deserve a raise every day!

me: i don't think this woman agrees with you....




drunk customer: hey gorgeous. can i have your number so i can take you out to dinner?

me: maybe if you come back sober

drunk customer: hahaha... you got me. no but seriously, give me your number, there's a party.

me: what party?

drunk customer: well... there COULD be a party....

old souls

*two young kids come up and buy stuff. I give them their change and they say keep it, so I say...*

me: aww come on, you can get some 5 cent candies with that change, take it.

little boy: not with taxes these days

me: you're too young to worry about taxes

little girl: we're older than you think

me: lemme guess... 12?

little boy: i'm almost 13!