debit

*man using debit machine: oh i need to take out my glasses for this. or, glass
me: ?
*man takes out HALF a pair of glasses. not a monacle. no that would make too much sense. he takes out a broken pair of glasses with one side completely missing.*



young normal customer about to pay: oh i guess i'll just use my debit

me: don't talk down to your debit card. it's not JUST your debit card. now it'll grow up with a complex

crazy customer next in line: yeah, don't talk down or the mafia will get you back in that alley there, douse you in formaldehyde and make it look like an accident


young normal, now frightened customer:.... i won't talk down to my debit card anymore.